Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Prenatal movement and parental response - i can feel my baby move

“I think I can feel my baby move,” Whitney said, her dewy blue eyes wide with anticipation. Her voice rose at the end, turning her sentence into a query. She was a few weeks shy of the second trimester of her second successful pregnancy. Exuberantly curious, she sought validation for her awareness. Whitney was more confident with this baby than her first, but on the issue of whether or not she in fact could detect her baby’s movement, she was uncertain.


The delivery of Whitney’s first child was by caesarean section. At the time, and now in retrospect, she questioned the procedure. It had evoked a prolonged and recurring experience of loss. She knew that she wanted to deliver her second child vaginally, and that her doctor would object.


These were the thoughts dancing in Whitney’s mind when she inquired about feeling movement. She pushed them aside to be attentive for her doctor’s response.


“No, that’s not possible. It’s probably just gas,” Dr. Carlson said, with a sweet, preoccupied smile.


Whitney genuinely liked her doctor. She knew that Dr. Carlson was a good physician, and that she too was a mom. Dr. Carlson had returned to her career after the birth (by caesarean) of her own daughter. Whitney, on the other hand, had gone from being a successful businesswoman with a top salary to being a full-time mom. She loved it! It was not Dr. Carlson’s professionalism or commitment that troubled Whitney; it was what she suspected Dr. Carlson did not know about a mother’s capacity to feel her connection to prenatal life and development.


Whitney had learned how to be sensitive to her body and to her own feelings since becoming a mother. She had also made it her job to learn about the latest discoveries in embryology. Ironically, her baby’s caesarean delivery was the impetus for her increased awareness. It had catapulted her into a passionate quest for the truth about early life, her own as well as her children’s. She was disturbed by the air of secrecy blowing around the cloak of authority that she encountered in the medical world.


Whitney had also learned the essential parenting practice of sorting her feelings and sensations until she understood their frequently hidden meanings. This was the route to self-empowerment. She was reclaiming what she felt she had lost during the delivery of her first child.


She knew she was looking for supportive mirroring from Dr. Carlson about her baby’s movement, but when she did not get it, she reflected on this instead of reacting to it.


Moments later Whitney determined that only she could address her uncertainty about her baby’s movement. When she inquired inside, the answer was definitely, yes, she could feel her baby move. In her first pregnancy, she would have accepted her doctor’s response. Having traversed the painful territory of post-partum depression that she now correlated specifically with the unnecessary caesarean, Whitney had become much more confident in her feminine wisdom. She could honor her hormonally endowed attunement to herself and her child. She was alert to her own tendency to collude in an institutionalized disempowerment of mothers.


As she reflected further on Dr. Carlson’s response, Whitney wondered what kind of relationship she could have with a doctor who did not trust a mother’s experience. Whitney dialogued with her unborn child. Silently, but with passion, she said to her baby, “I recognize your movement and I love it! I’m sorry I was not more confident earlier.” Her baby moved, subtly but clearly, spreading out, stretching with relief in utero.


“Movements of the embryo and fetus are a fundamental expression of early neural activity,” says embryologist Jan Nijhuis in his groundbreaking book Fetal Behavior. “The fetus of 8-10 weeks post-menstrual age moves spontaneously in utero under normal circumstances.”


Prenatal movement in the first trimester, and then the patterns of movement that form in the second trimester, are the expression of the developing baby’s nervous system. This primary neurological unfolding is nourished and enhanced by parental awareness, dialogue and subtle touch on the mother’s body that communicates to the baby. The entire family can participate in this encouragement. The knowledge of how to do this is inherent in each of us. It is part of the magnificent design of the human being. Excellent education is now available to stimulate and sustain this natural wisdom. Awakening to, trusting and acting upon our innate human connection is the joy of parenthood.


Prenatal movement is preparation for neonatal activity. It is also warm-up for the marathon of labor and delivery. It is designed to result in the baby’s thrilling victory of entry into the arms of a world already sensed and perceived.


Movement patterns in prenates are replicated in neonates, demonstrating the continuity of neural behavior. The human fetus sleeps, breathes moves, eliminates, and feels, sees, cries, initiates and responds. He or she is acutely sensitive, as a result of constantly expanding neurological capacities, to the surrounding environment and its vicissitudes.


The prenate communicates its experiences the only way it can: through motility. Eye movement, heart-rate, respiration, gestures, and elimination patterns speak volumes about the individual prenatal world.


Regularity of movement can be a sign of health whereas deceleration or lack of movement can signal distress or concern. Certain fetal movements may convey discomfort. By noticing movements or their absence, the family can come to know its new arrival and begin, well before birth, to integrate the baby into the family. Prenatal consciousness is neurologically organized to be present, alert and receptive. The unborn baby delights in recognition.


The question of whom and what the baby in utero actually is and what he or she is capable of doing can best be answered by a respectful collaboration between scientists, parents and people who remember their own prenatal lives. Optimally, these three categories can be combined. Scientists, like me, who are passionate about the role and function of very early life in holistic healthcare, are building the case to demonstrate that prenatal life is, in fact, the basis of all health.


Immune function, structural development, spiritual wellbeing, relational health, confidence, and the capacity to respond to change and threat in a balanced way are all formed by what transpires in utero. Embryology bears this out. Of all the populations that will make the best use of this information, parents, I believe, are the most significant..


The personality of the unborn baby is present and engaged with its family from virtually the moment of conception, and some believe even before. The baby is not only interacting, he or she is a full time student, constantly learning and creating the blueprint for a lifetime of physical health, relationships and motivation.


All relationships flourish with authentic and frequent communication. This is as true for prenates as it is for husband and wife, and for parents and children of all ages.


I am reminded of a story reported to me by a young friend who attended a conference where insights into prenatal health were discussed. He was inspired by what he heard. Soon after, he discovered that friends of his had been told that their baby was breach and that a caesarean was scheduled. This young man immediately went to their home, sat in front of the mother’s pregnant belly, and begged and pleaded with the baby to turn. He spoke with full commitment, faith and insistence. The baby turned and was delivered vaginally.


What does embryology say about the prenate’s ability to hear and respond to auditory communication?


Neonates as well as prenates, until relatively recently, were regarded as being deaf as well as mute. Beginning in 1977, however, research demonstrated that the fetus responds to sound from at least 12 weeks in utero and perhaps sooner. Certain sounds, like the mother’s heartbeat, elicit strong responses. The mother’s voice is decidedly heard, as well as the voices of others in the environment. This is supported by the discovery that neonates prefer the sound of their mother’s voice to other sounds.


Auditory sensory mechanisms begin developing during the fourth and fifth week in utero and continue to completion by about the 25th week. At the early stages, however, the baby can hear. A study involving invasive sound at less than 24 weeks of gestation revealed that after hearing a loud and shrill noise that evoked initial dramatic fetal movement, the fetus stopped responding completely. The overwhelming invasion resulted in fatigue and collapse. The fetus learned it was powerless to stop the invasion. The method of the study disturbs me but I hope we will learn from this and stop such painful experiments. However, we can take this knowledge and use it to protect our own prenates from auditory assault!


How do babies reveal their memories post-natally? Long term studies conducted by Italian psychologist Alessandra Piontelli and published in her book From Fetus to Child show that babies who are frightened and insecure in utero and who demonstrate this through their behavioral states, do the same thing at five years of age and older.


Whitney’s experience of her first son’s memories of his caesarean birth supports this theory. In the midst of storytelling, Timmy said “Will our new baby have to wait to come out instead of pushing, the way I did, Mommy?” At first Whitney stared at her son in amazement, and then she acknowledged his wisdom, just as she had learned to acknowledge her own.


“Was waiting hard for you?” she asked her son. “It was very hard,” Timmy replied. “I don’t want my baby to have to wait.” “OK,” Whitney said, “I’ll do my best so there will be no waiting this time.”


Whitney learned how her child’s embryological behavioral states continued into the birthing process when she went into labor. The process slowed just when it should have intensified, causing even her midwife to consider going to the hospital. It was deja vu for Whitney and her family.


“It’s OK,” Whitney told her family and midwife, turning the tables on her team. Weren’t they supposed to be reassuring her?


“My baby is just concerned,” she declared, smiling. “We need to have a conversation.” Her body provided Whitney with the truth she trusted. Her baby could and would decide the time of birth.


Whitney closed her eyes and commenced an internal dialogue in which she encouraged her child to continue to journey forward and inquired about what the difficulty might be. Her communion was a show stopper for everyone.


“What’s he saying?” Timmy blurted out, unable to control himself. He had always known he had a brother in there!


“He says that he doesn’t know if we will have time for him because we are all so busy. He’s not sure we really want him,” Whitney said softly, looking directly at her husband.


“Is that just you talking?” Blake asked, dumfounded.


“He’s been listening, watching and learning,” Whitney answered, her face radiant in the greatest certainty she had ever known.


“OK,” Blake said, tears streaming down his face. “I’ll spend more time at home. I really want to.” By this time he was sobbing.


The baby’s response was the biggest contraction Whitney had ever felt. Within thirty minutes their baby was born. They named him Micah, the merciful messenger.


Sunday, August 14, 2016

What i love about my father

I have been thinking a lot about my father ever since we celebrated Father's Day together earlier this summer. This is by no means the first time that I've ever thought about what makes my father such a special person in my life, but I have been far more intentional about reflecting on him in the past few weeks than ever before.


Perhaps I feel urgent about reflecting on my father's life and impact because he is getting older and becoming more and more like an old man. I'm not sure, I just know that I feel like it is important for me at this stage of life to figure out just why I love him and then to share it with him. Being a writer, my emotions and thoughts are expressed much easier in writing than verbally, so I'm planning to make a journal of sorts about my father and to share it with him on next year's Father's Day. The very first thing that comes to mind when I think about the way I love my father is how he has always been the best teacher. He is the one that taught me how to ride my bike without training wheels and how to catch a softball in my mit. He is the one that helped me with multiplication tables when I was stuck and the one that took me out for hours of driving practice before I got my license. My father is a great teacher because he is patient, gentle and a great communicator.


Another thing I love about my father is the priority and commitment he places on our family. I have never seen another father who is so committed to family time and to being involved in the lives of the ones he loves. Far too many fathers are consumed by work, but not my dad. Throughout my childhood, teenage years, and no into adulthood my father has been the most consistent of any parent I've seen. I appreciate that consistency so much yet I'm not sure that I have ever expressed that to my dad. This is the year.


A third thing that I love about my father is the way he loves my mother. Everything I know about love I have learned from watching my parents love each other. I am well aware of the rare gift that is, and I cherish it closely. I want to be sure to communicate to my dad what it has meant that he has loved my mother in front of us so well for so many years.


If you are privileged enough to have a father, then I suggest that you start being intentional about loving him and about thanking him for all that he has done for you. There is no better way to honor a parent.


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

A gift to be remembered child personalized stationary

Benefits of Child Personalized Stationary


One of the best gifts you can give to a child that is just learning to write is child personalized stationary. Children love to be told that they’re special and personalized stationary is a concrete way to express that sentiment. Seeing their own name printed on child personalized stationary will fill a child with delight and wonder at the magic that you used to make it happen. Custom printed stationary will stand out as a thoughtful gift, and will also encourage your child to practice writing, enabling them to make rapid progress. Reading and writing are fundamental skills, and anything that stimulates a child to practice writing is a helpful tool for their success in education. Older children can also benefit from child personalized stationary by inciting them to learn the art of correspondence. In today’s society of internet slang and abbreviated online conversation, standard letter writing is a skill that is often overlooked.


Child Personalized Stationary Designs


Child personalized stationary is available in many designs, colors and formats. From pictured note cards, to parchment style paper and standard lined notebook stationary, custom designs can be found to fit any child’s interests or preferences. Many child personalized stationary products are available in designs featuring dinosaurs, dolls, trucks, toys, and other favorite icons of childhood. Whether the child you’re buying the stationary is crazy about horses or wants to be an astronaut, there is a child personalized stationary gift design available that will further customize your gift. Many sets come with envelops in a coordinating design, and some also include stickers to enhance your child’s correspondence and add to their enjoyment.


Using Child Personalized Stationary


A great way to implement your child’s use of child personalized stationary is to have them write thank you notes following a birthday or holiday party. Teaching your child the thoughtfulness of personalized thank you notes will help them to develop good etiquette. Another great way to encourage the use of child personalized stationary (particularly with older children) is to get them into a pen pal program. Having a pen pal from across the country, or across the globe, can be a learning experience as well as providing a chance for your child to find a new friend. Most children are proud to use their personalized stationary as a means of expressing themselves.


Other Personalized Gifts for Children


Beyond child personalized stationary, there are many customizable gift options for children. From silk screen t-shirts, to door signs, placemats and personalized jigsaw puzzles and block sets, there are many gifts available to show your child how special they are to you. With so many interchangeable toys on the market today, giving a customized gift is a way to really connect with your child. The next time a birthday or holiday rolls around, consider personalized gifts for you child. There’s nothing that can compare to the smile on a child’s face when they receive a much loved gift.